It's me, Jp.
Ads. Jokes. Tweets.
I'm pretty much the "guy who voices SpongeBob" of writing because I do it all.*
I was born in the bitter cold of Alaska, clawing my way past bears and blizzards to get to the big city—Chicago.
From hilarious scripts to headline catching activations; you name it, I make it.
*Seriously. Google all the characters he's voiced.
I'm a middle child; it's probably why I do comedy.
I was a birthday magician, hired exclusively by one year olds.
In 2007 I was told I had tuberculosis. In 2016 I was told “never mind.”
I have never seen nor read Diary of a Wimpy Kid yet somehow I keep saying "zoo-wee-mama."
I was robbed by a Costa Rican street gang for a birthday cake.
I have some of the most expensive front teeth.
My mom is a doomsday prepping flat-earther.
I hate the Gateway Arch with an undying passion.
I think pick-up trucks should be illegal.